A good communicator tries first to be a good listener.
The first step towards listening is that blending how does someone know that you are listening and understanding. In essence it is through the way you look and sound while they are talking. Rather distracting a person with puzzled looks, interrupted or statements of disagreement to help him or her to express his or her thoughts or feelings.
You do this by noddig your head in agreement, making occasional sounds of understanding.
When your problem person begin to say what already has been said is a signal of step two that is backtracking. This involves reapting back some of the actual that another person is using sending a clear signal that you are listening and that you thiñk that the other person is saying something important, translating or rephrasing what they have said is counterproductive and may create the impression that you haven't understood what is bieng said.
Having heard what difficult person has to say the next step is clarifying. At this point you start to gather information about the meaning of what has been communicated. While it is vartually impossible to reson with an emotional person, it is still possible to look and sound like you understand, back track what you have heard and then ask questions.
Summarise what you have heard, this allows you to make sure that you and your difficult person is at same page. First if you had missed something he or she can fill in the details. Second you have demonstrated, yet again that you are making a serios effort to fully understand. Having listened carefully, you have now arrived at a crucial juncture bug before you move on, confirm with the person that he or she feels satisfied that his or her problem has fully voiced. Ask if he or she has understood. Ask if this is anything that needs to be put on the table.
The first step towards listening is that blending how does someone know that you are listening and understanding. In essence it is through the way you look and sound while they are talking. Rather distracting a person with puzzled looks, interrupted or statements of disagreement to help him or her to express his or her thoughts or feelings.
You do this by noddig your head in agreement, making occasional sounds of understanding.
When your problem person begin to say what already has been said is a signal of step two that is backtracking. This involves reapting back some of the actual that another person is using sending a clear signal that you are listening and that you thiñk that the other person is saying something important, translating or rephrasing what they have said is counterproductive and may create the impression that you haven't understood what is bieng said.
Having heard what difficult person has to say the next step is clarifying. At this point you start to gather information about the meaning of what has been communicated. While it is vartually impossible to reson with an emotional person, it is still possible to look and sound like you understand, back track what you have heard and then ask questions.
Summarise what you have heard, this allows you to make sure that you and your difficult person is at same page. First if you had missed something he or she can fill in the details. Second you have demonstrated, yet again that you are making a serios effort to fully understand. Having listened carefully, you have now arrived at a crucial juncture bug before you move on, confirm with the person that he or she feels satisfied that his or her problem has fully voiced. Ask if he or she has understood. Ask if this is anything that needs to be put on the table.
The key points are.
1) listen first, listen well you are not likely to be heard or understand until the person has said he or she has to say.
2) learn and practice 5 steps of good listening - blend, back track, clarify, summaries and confirm.
3) make sure the other person knows you have heard and understood - you must establish these facts before you attempt to get him or her to hear and understood you.
1) listen first, listen well you are not likely to be heard or understand until the person has said he or she has to say.
2) learn and practice 5 steps of good listening - blend, back track, clarify, summaries and confirm.
3) make sure the other person knows you have heard and understood - you must establish these facts before you attempt to get him or her to hear and understood you.
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